‘Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide’ Training Offers Church’s Mercy

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The archdiocesan Family Life/Respect Life Office is teaming with parishes to reach out to people who have experienced divorce in an attempt “to bring some healing to them—and bring them back to the loving arms of the Church,” said Dr. Kathy Wither, the office’s director.

Beginning at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 29, the office will initiate a 12-week evening course called “The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide: Helping You Find Peace, Power and Passion After Your Divorce.” It will take place in the rectory meeting room of St. Mary’s parish in Wappingers Falls.

The course will utilize a DVD series, and an accompanying journal, presented by Ascension Press. The weekly sessions, which run for 90 minutes, include the screening of a 20- to 30-minute video presentation with vignettes highlighting the experiences of people who have gone through divorce as well as expert commentary from priests, psychologists, theologians and authors.

Subjects explored during the weekly sessions include anger, loss, depression, alienation, forgiveness and a host of others.

A major program component is the feedback of participants detailing how the points raised by the DVD resonate with their own experiences. The feedback takes place during in-class discussions as well as through journaling at home.

At St. Mary’s, the course will be facilitated by parishioner Cathy Drennen, a divorced person who has led groups for divorced and separated Catholics for many years. She participated in the pilot program offered from April to June at St. Barnabas parish in the Bronx, where Msgr. Edward Barry is pastor.

Carmen Noschese, the coordinator of Separated and Divorced Ministry for the Family Life/Respect Life Office and a licensed marriage and family therapist, said pilot group participants learned that “they’re not the only ones out there, and that there are people willing to help them try to understand what our Church is all about.”

“For me it was good to see people at Week 1 and then at Week 12, to see the transformation they had,” she said. “That was very important.”

Dr. Wither and Mrs. Noschese said the lessons of The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide dovetail nicely with Pope Francis’ approach to helping ensure that all families, whether intact or separated by divorce, experience “the mercy of God” present in the life of the Church.

“I’m very optimistic about this. How can we bring some healing to them, and bring them back to the loving arms of the Church?” Dr. Wither said in explaining the new approach promoted by The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide.

Father James Cruz, the pastor of the host parish, St. Mary’s, Wappingers Falls, has offered his full support to the program, an important indicator of its potential for success, organizers say. Other parishes in the cluster and several others in the area have also been invited to promote the program to their parishioners.

Archdiocesan officials, including the vicar general as well as the judicial vicar of the Metropolitan Tribunal, have positively reviewed the program, Dr. Wither said. While the subject of annulments is broached in at least one session, it is not a primary emphasis of the program. If participants express interest in learning more about the annulment process, they will be referred to their pastor or directly to the Tribunal.

The sessions, which are confidential, are built for 20 to 25 participants, who may vary from the recently divorced to others who have been divorced for many years. There is still room for more participants in the class being offered at St. Mary’s. Cost of $35 per participant includes printed materials. Information: www.nyfamilylife.org/separated-divorced or carmennoschese@archny.org.

Mrs. Noschese is also planning to run a half-day training session this fall for those who would like to serve as facilitators for future sessions of The Catholic’s Divorce Survival Guide.