In Marriage, Couples Need Not Be Perfect, But They Must Be Loving

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A joyful celebration of World Marriage Day drew more than 125 couples from across the archdiocese to St. Patrick’s Church in Highland Mills Feb 8.
The daylong bilingual event featured a concelebrated Mass, renewal of marriage vows, dinner and dancing, and two talks by Damon Owens, executive director of the Theology of the Body Institute in Downingtown, Pa.
Newlywed, engaged and long-married couples heard Owens trace marriage back to Genesis and describe it as “the way in which we give ourselves to God through another person.”
He said, “There is only one purpose for our marriage and one purpose for our life and fortunately they are together: it’s holiness.”
“God wants us to be saints, but that doesn’t mean we have to do everything perfectly. We do have to do it with love,” Owens said.
Izabella Nagle said the program was part of the archdiocesan preparation for the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia in September. She is the Marriage Enrichment Coordinator in the Family Life/Respect Life office, the event’s sponsor. Despite wintry weather and travel difficulties, there was a full house at St. Patrick’s.
“This is also the first time we’ve done a bilingual World Marriage Day program,” Ms. Nagle told CNY. “About 40 percent of the participants speak Spanish and we are grateful to have the donated services of Manual Losada, a translator at the United Nations, and headsets loaned by Focolare,” she said.
Auxiliary Bishop Peter J. Byrne, vicar of Dutchess, Putnam and Northern Westchester, was the principal celebrant of the Mass. He gave his homily in both English and Spanish and evoked laughter when he suggested Simon Peter, sainted for his martyrdom, first proved his sanctity by asking Jesus to heal his mother-in-law.
Bishop Byrne said hope helps people see their vocation in life in terms of eternity. “Hope is more than optimism. It’s based on God and his promises and it sees the goal beyond the horizon. Only that virtue really sustains a lifelong marriage,” he said.
In advance of the event, the Family Life/Respect Life Office identified the longest-married couples in the archdiocese and planned to honor them at World Marriage Day. Angelina and Michael Vernillo from Immaculate Conception parish in Tuckahoe were selected as longest-married. They have been married for 71 years, but were unable to attend the festivities.
Betsy and Tony Madaio from St. Joseph’s in Bronxville were surprised to learn they were the longest-married couple in attendance. They were married 47 years ago. Mrs. Madaio said the event was “very uplifting” and they were delighted to be there with the second-longest-married couple, whom they have known for 37 years.
Jean and Frank Apicella from Sacred Heart in Hartsdale have been married 46 years. The two couples met through Worldwide Marriage Encounter and are still involved in the group’s Lower Hudson Valley group. Apicella said he was encouraged by the robust turnout at the event.
“It’s great to bring everyone together and especially to do it in two languages,” Madaio said.
The day’s theme was “Light in a Dark World—Living Up to Your Greatest Potential in Marriage.” Zbynek and Lucia Gold from St. Joseph in Somers said the program was both inspiring and helpful. “It’s such a good image for what we do,” Gold said. The Golds will celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary in June. Mrs. Gold said their dearest friends share the Worldwide Marriage Encounter ministry with them. “It’s always en enriching time when we get together,” she said.
Ana and Bayron Telon are part of the Couples Team in the marriage preparation program at Our Lady of the Rosary in Port Chester. They have been married for nine years. Telon said Owens’ talks and Bishop Byrne’s homily gave him greater insight into “how God loves us and blesses my marriage.”
Nicholas and Janna Gaudioso, married almost six years, said they came from Holy Child parish on Staten Island to hear Damon Owens. Gaudioso said, “We’re here to reflect on our marriage and make it better.” On their way to Mass, Mrs. Gaudioso explained simply, “We came to be fed.”
World Marriage Day is sponsored by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter movement to honor husband and wife as the foundation of the family, the basic unit of society and salute the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life.

List of Longest Married Couples in the Archdiocese 

1. Angelina and Michael Vernillo, married 71 years, church of the Immaculate Conception, Tuckahoe

2. Elizbeth and Donald Tuttle, 70 years, St. Mary's, Poughkeepsie

3. Teresa and Anthony Stellabotte, 70 years, St. Ann's, Staten Island

4. Gloria and John Subranni, 68 years, St. John's, Yonkers

5. Antonia and Anton Babnik, 68 years, St. John the Evangelist, Mahopac

6. Victoria and Conrado Torres, 66 years, St. Ann's, Yonkers

7.  Rosalie and Frank Coppola, 65 years, St. Barnabas, the Bronx